I’m not a working mom by choice. I am lucky that I enjoy my job, but I would leave in a second given that chance to stay home with my girl.
Beware, I’m typing with emotion right now, will be speaking MY thoughts and if I offend or upset anyone, please know I am not trying to do so intentionally, just getting some steam released….unless you are one of the 2 jerk mothers I had a conversation with today, then YES I am trying to bash you.
Okay. Today is Friday, really my LAST day of my week off from work. The day started amazing. I am doing a lot of things with my daughter, we went to the store, we went and had an early lunch together, then we went to the park. The park is where my anger began to rise. My daughter was playing with 3 girls really well considering she doesn’t have any contact with kids her age. I was sitting underneath the cover picnic benches, just watching, enjoying being a a stay at home mom for just a few more hours. When one of the ladies opened her mouth.
…keep in mind, this might not exactly be word for word, but I’ll try my best to share the WHOLE converstation.
Mom #1: Are you that little girl’s mom?
*now thinking back, you saw me walking up with her, good observation genius.*
Me: Yes, I am.
Mom #1: She is so adorable! What’s her name?
Me: Cheyenne, she just turned 2 this last Monday.
Mom#1: Aww, she is so cute! My little one just turned 3 in June. That one (pointing at on of the girls) there is mine, her name is Hailey.
Me: They grow fast don’t they?
Mom #2: You got that right! My oldest will be 8 in Sept.
Mom#2: We were the only ones who could make the group today, there are 6 of us…the others had a soccer camp to attend. Do you go to any play groups?
Me: No but I have been wanting to join one, since all my friends with kiddos are back home and also up north where we did live.
Mom#1: Where did you live before?
Me: We lived up north in Lochbuie, just north of Brighton. Moved down this way last year.
Mom#2: Oh I bet you guys like it a lot better here than there, huh?
Me: Not really, we are both small town, country kids, we enjoy the open space and ranches and farms.
Mom#1: Oh, that’s nice.
Mom#2: Well you are more than welcome to join our little group, we meet on Wednesdays or Fridays, depending on what the consensus is of all the girls.
Me: Well, I have to work on both those days.
Mom#2: Oh you work? Today’s Friday, why aren’t you at work?
Me: I have the week off, it’s been nice being at home with no pressure of a schedule.
Mom#1: Man, I worked before Hailey arrived and after she was born, both my husband and I thought it would be best if I stayed home with her.
Mom#2: “Yeah, thats how we felt too.”
Me: It’s not my choice to work, we just fell subject to the economy, unfortunately like many American have and continue to do. I’m just doing my part to give my girl a good life.
Mom#2: That’s sad, I don’t know what I would do if I wasn’t able to be with my child, being with their parents is best for them at their age.
Me: Yeah, well, at least my mother watches her and not some stranger, so I know she is getting taken care of and is learning what she needs to.
Mom#2: Nothing like the actual parent being around though, always constantly bonding.
Me: Yeah, I agree, but sometimes things and life just happens, and you just have to cowboy up and roll with the punches. Makes me a better person in the long run.
Mom#1: Luckily my husband makes enough money that I never have to worry about not having to work.
….this is where I pull out my phone and look at the time and say that we just stopped in for a quick play, I have to go meet my husband for lunch and it was a pleasure meeting them….damn I hate lying.
Needless to say Chey wasn’t ready to leave. She got pissed when we left, cried, luckily didn’t scream……but in turn made me feel MORE of a crappy parent.
Those ladies are the reason why there is an unspoken clash between working moms and stay at home moms. Many of us that have to work wish we didn’t have to. We didn’t choose to leave home, whether it be part time or full time, we don’t like it and would change it in a second. I know I would.
I’m not sure why there are moms out there that choose to make working moms feel as little as a grain of salt, making us out to be parents who don’t love their kids. I think the exactly opposite, many working moms are out there, ensuring their children have what they need and many times want! Paying for college, preschool, diapers, whatever! I am working, yes, because I have to. Even though I love my job I would give it up in a second if I could know we could live comfortably . Until then, I do the best I can for my family. Continue to work my butt off at home and work to give my family a good life. My husband does the best that he can to provide, but like thousands, the economy just doesn’t help much, nothing he is doing wrong, just, is what it is.
I am not throwing all stay at home moms underneath the bus. I have tons of mommy friends that stay home, who are blessed to stay home, that GET many of us moms who DO work, don’t want to. And would NEVER treat another mom this way regardless of working or not. But there are those ones, that, well, just don’t care about anyone but themselves. I know if I was to ever be able to be a stay at home mom again, I would NEVER be like those jerks at the park today. Mainly, because I have learned to appreciate a blessing such as that and that I would never judge anyone. Sometimes things happen, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and just LIVE life and make it through. I appreciate things I have, even though they drive me nuts from time to time, like the lack of a laundry room….I really do hate that…..BUT at least I have a place IN MY HOUSE to do laundry and don’t have to go anywhere to accomplish it….which reminds me I have to do laundry….DAMN IT!
….anyway, I am disappointed that a mother would treat another mother that way. I am appalled that there are people out there raising kids, with the same judgmental ideals, which DO rub off on your children.
I love my daughter, even though I only work part time, I can partially understand what the life of a working mom is and I wouldn’t ever make a full time mother feel badly, like they made me feel today. I am blessed to be able to only have to work part time….I could only imagine how hard it would be to work full time and I just hope someday all of us who TRULY desire to be at home with our kids, will someday, and those who don’t appreciate the opportunity, well, get what’s coming to them.
As someone on my Twitter page said in response to a short comment about this morning, “time for the mommy wars to stop”…..we are all moms, we deal with the same things REGARDLESS if we have to work or not. Wish everyone felt that way .
I feel better now that I have vented….thank you all who listened to my words and know that I am not mad at ANYONE, nor to I feel badly towards anyone, unless you feel like these two moms…..